I love using games as a learning tool for children.  Parents of young children too often get caught up in curriculum and formalized teaching, but you can do just as much and more by playing with them.  And fortunately, it’s so easy to find ways to turn learning activities into games!

Our experience for seven children so far is that they’ve all learned to read without being officially taught.  While I don’t sit down to teach them to read, that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about literacy.  I read with my kids regularly, and I also look for fun ways for them to play with letters and words.  Kids can pick up letters and sounds in this way pretty easily without much effort on your part – ds7 began reading English on his own when he was six, though his focus in school was on learning Hebrew (and his Hebrew reading is impressively fast and accurate).  Once kids know the sounds letters make, they can start to decode words on their own.  There are games on the market that can make this easy, but it’s not really that hard to do on your own if you look for ways to make it fun.

I started off using some flashcards for ds4 to match up but then saw that it was a little above his ability – it would be perfect for ds5, though.  (I used a basic flashcard set that I had but you can make your own cards for this.)  The idea was to match each letter with a card that has a word and picture that started with that letter.  I lined the cards facing up, and he had to put the letter on top of the picture.  The amount of cards you use depends on your child’s age.  You can also use the cards as a matching game, turning all the cards face down and then making a match with the letter and the word that starts with that letter.    Ds5 loves matching games and you can use the basic format for a lot of variations.

Back to ds4.  He was doing the cards with me but it didn’t seem fun for him and if it’s not fun, it’s missing the point!  Then I remembered about these plastic ABC letters with flashcards that someone gave me last year – I used to have the game in the US but never used it! I adapted the activity for something better suited for ds4 and he enjoyed himself a lot.

Basically, I lined up the plastic letters on the floor, then arranged the cards in three piles – one pile had words with four letters, one had three letter words and the last one had two letter words.

On the back of each card is a word with an illustration.  I showed him how the plastic letters could be matched up with the word and sat next to him while he did the first couple of cards.  I showed him the different kinds of cards and let him choose which ones he wanted to use – he chose the picture cards.  After he got the hang of it, I went into the kitchen to make some lunch while he continued playing on his own.

When playing with kids, remember to keep it fun and keep it unpressured.  As soon as your child wants to stop, stop.  When they’re interested, they’re primed for learning. When they are ready to move on, there’s no academic gain in pushing them. This is one reason why kids in school learn so little relative to the time spent there – for much of their time, they aren’t motivated or engaged.  To adapt a well known saying: You can lead a child to the lesson but you can’t make them learn!

Fortunately, by using games instead of workbook style lessons, you can skyrocket the learning while getting around the resistance – this is particular valuable with kids who think learning is a chore.  This isn’t our issue – our kids routinely play learning games at their own initiative, even those that are overtly academic (eg Greek and Latin roots).  But part of that is how we present the games – as fun.  We aren’t trying to ‘sneak’ learning in.  We think learning is fun and games are fun, and there’s only a gain for everyone when children think of learning and fun as synonymous.

Avivah

Several people have asked me what is happening with dd16′s academic plans for the coming year.  The answer is, we don’t yet know!

She has been accepted to the seminary she applied to in England (Gateshead).  However, we’ve all agreed that if we can find a suitable seminary in Israel, we’d prefer she stay closer to home.

Since Israel is filled with seminaries for Israelis and Americans, this should be a very simple thing, right?  No, not if you’re a new immigrant who moved here less than two years ago.  The reason is, dd is neither here nor there.  The American seminaries don’t want ‘Israeli’ girls and that’s how she’s classified since we’ve lived here twenty months.  Most of the Israeli seminaries that have the professional programs that she’s interested in have admittance criteria that she can’t meet since she hasn’t been here enough years – specifically, she needs to have either a bagrut (matriculation) certificate or a ‘chutzim’ (alternative to bagrut for charedi girls) certificate.  (If she went to a teaching seminary this wouldn’t be an issue.)  When we met with her school advisor, we learned that she won’t be able to get into the programs that she’s interested in since she doesn’t have either of these certificates.

This is a bit frustrating, particularly because dd is a very good student but there’s no way for her hard work to be recognized and this seems unfair.  She took two matriculation exams last year, and is doing all the twelfth grade testing for the bagrut examinations this year, in addition to simultaneously doing the eleventh grade math exams.  She’s doing them all in Hebrew without any help at all from the school (she studies with a classmate for her exams), and is doing very, very well.  One teacher recently announced to her class that dd got the second highest grade in her class on the pre-matriculation exams (madkonet) for Yahadut – this test involved seven pages of writing (in Hebrew) on complex ideas of Jewish thought and philosophy.

She’s in a class with girls who are academically motivated and study hard, and they can’t understand how she can be doing so well when these are tests that are challenging even for native Hebrew speakers.  The answer is that she is motivated and works hard.  But as hard as she’s working, she can’t make up three years of testing in one, particularly as she has to learn all the material for each test on her own in a foreign language.  By the end of this year she’ll have seventeen points toward her matriculation certificate and a full matriculation certificate is a minimum of 21 points.  So she’s close but not quite there.

This is quite an accomplishment for an English speaker who is new to the country.  But on the applications, there’s nowhere to write about how hard she works or how well she’s done, though her teachers and principal would happily sing her praises if asked.  The application forms are very black and white, and there’s nowhere to explain that there are gaps because she’s been here such a short time.  There are two Israeli seminaries we are currently considering, and I called the first to let them know about her status.  They told me to put a note on her application that she’s a new immigrant, which I did, and tonight when we got the application for the second seminary I did the same thing.

I’ll interrupt myself here to say this: if you’re considering making aliyah with a daughter in high school, pay attention!  Many girls, even those who have made aliyah at an earlier age than dd and completed all four years of high school find themselves in a difficult situation.  For many, the Hebrew is still a linguistic challenge and culturally they continue to feel more comfortable with Americans; as such an Israeli program isn’t suitable.  And most of the American programs won’t take them.  Even if they are accepted to an American seminary, the approximately $24,000 yearly price tag is extremely daunting for those living on significantly lower Israeli salaries.  Much of the financial aid available for girls living in the US that makes these programs financially feasible for them is unavailable for girls living in Israel.  Not so simple at all.  So if you’re thinking about moving here with a teenage daughter, consider yourselves warned!

Back to dd, who has gone through a lot since we moved here and keeps moving forward with a positive attitude while growing from the challenges.  She’s not letting herself get discouraged by the current seminary situation, either.  She’s looking for a seminary with a Jewish studies program that has a strong focus on personal growth and development, and has a secular studies program that will enable her to get an accreditation in a professional field of her choice.  She’s currently interested in architectural engineering, which we were told is the most difficult of the courses offered at these two seminaries.  We were warned that the Hebrew level of these classes might be too hard for her and that the classes are demanding even for native Hebrew speakers but dd and I both feel it’s doable since she’s willing to apply herself.

There’s one other Israeli seminary that was initially our first choice – Ofakim – but the professional training programs I was told they had weren’t of interest to dd (computers, special ed and early childhood ed) and we vetoed it.  Yesterday a friend told me that she’s positive that there are other tracks and we need to get more information before ruling that out.   If any readers have information or contact details for this seminary, please share it with us!

Last week she interviewed at seminary number one and came home adamant that she won’t attend that school – she said it felt cold and uncaring. She had an interviewer who was so emotionally detached that it was a big turn off, despite the interview afterward with the principal, who was very warm and was impressed with her.  Tonight she filled out the application for the next school, which is much smaller and sounds more like what she’s looking for – she’ll send it off in the morning and then we’ll wait to hear back from them regarding an interview.  I really want her to find a place where she can have a positive social/spiritual/academic experience, and hope that one of these options will be a good fit.

I’ll be sure to share with you once there’s closure on this decision!

Avivah

>>I would also like to encourage people to try out temporary residence before committing to aliyah. There are many positives to do so. Don’t do aliyah because you need the money from Misrad HaKlitah to live. Experience living for one, two or maximum three years under temporary residence, and if things don’t work out, you always can come back another time.<<

Recently I was speaking with someone in her first year of aliyah who is having a hard time adjusting to all the differences here.  I mentioned that I thought it was beneficial to give yourself enough time to live here to be successful, not to rush to make a geographic change when things are uncomfortable in the beginning.  I also said that I thought it was helpful to mentally commit yourself to living here when making aliyah, but a couple of other women disagreed with me, saying that knowing they could go back to the US if things didn’t work out here was very important for them.  We agreed that this might be a personality issue, but I wanted to flesh out my thoughts on this here.

Before we moved, upon hearing our plans to make aliyah with nine children ranging in age from 2 – 18, many people told us that we could always come back if it didn’t work out.  I told them that we planned to make Israel our long term home, and this was the attitude that we consistently conveyed to our children (and ourselves!).  Not because we closed all the doors behind us when we moved from the US – we didn’t – but I felt it would make it harder for all of us to fully transition if we were holding on to the idea that at the end of a year we would move back to the US  if everything wasn’t comfortable by everyone by then.

Of course if you’ve made your best effort in something and it’s really not working after an extended period of time, you need to reassess.  There’s no benefit to feeling trapped and desperate with a life you don’t want if you have a way to change that.

However, being mentally prepared is very important when making aliyah.  Aliyah is difficult. Really difficult.  It’s particularly difficult if you don’t really want to make the move to start but come because a spouse or parent pulls you along with the power of their desire, but it’s hard enough even if you have the best of thoughts and intentions.  One has to find a balance between finding a perspective that allows you to mentally put your best effort forth on a continual basis without feeling trapped and how to do this is very individual.  While I knew we could move back to the US if we wanted to, this wasn’t what I focused on.  I think our clarity in this area helped out kids because if we had been ambivalent about the tough times and wondered if we had made a mistake, they would have immediately picked up on it.

I think this was a really good idea because it pushed everyone to look forward into building a new life rather than looking back constantly to long for what we left behind.  We left a very nice life behind, with wonderful friends and a wonderful community.  We came to something totally different, we felt isolated and out of place in many ways and everything was a struggle.  If I had given us a year to adjust, we wouldn’t still be here.  At this point, at twenty-one months, the kids and I all agree that it feels like life is getting easier in every area.  After about nine or ten months here, I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel – though before our one year anniversary things happened that obscured that light for a number of months to come.

Earlier this year we seriously considered moving to a different community; when we decided to stay in Karmiel, we emailed the family who was going to host us for Shabbos to let them know of our change in plans.  They told us they were sorry we wouldn’t get to meet – we were members of the same synagogue in the US and have mutual friends but they moved to Israel before we joined the shul – but said they were happy we had found a way to make it work where we were.  They explained that they had seen many families who moved to their city because they were unhappy with the city they had initially moved to, and too many of these families were just as unhappy in the new place.  Sometimes moving to a new place makes all the difference, but since you take yourself with you wherever you go, often the problems that you hope to escape are recreated in a new setting.

Something I’ve said for years is, ‘Expect the best and be prepared for the worst’.  This sums up how I look at a lot of things.  Think positively and trust that things will be good, but at the same time, be ready to deal with life’s vagaries.  It’s predictable that aliyah will have many challenges.  It’s predictable that at times you may question what in the world made you think this would be a good idea!  Difficulties don’t last forever and aliyah related challenges fade with time.  Give yourself that time by trusting that you can handle the frustrations, look for the good, and believe that you will be successful in making the adjustment. Trust that if you keep your mindset positive and look for the good in everything around you, if  you keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing, that you will be successful in making aliyah.

Avivah

It’s been interesting to have the kids in school and learn that they’re strong math students.  I don’t push my kids to be academic superstars by any means; I’m pretty relaxed in general in my approach.  My goal is that they have solid skills in a few key areas, one of which is math and we do this by systematically working through the program of our choice.

We’ve used Singapore math with great success through the elementary years, and they have this in Israel as well (as I was pleasantly surprised to learn when I saw it on the book list from a school ds7 interviewed at last year).  We had tried Saxon before then and it’s a good solid program, but it wasn’t what we needed for the elementary years.

For high school, we’ve used a number of things (to be more accurate, my oldest who was the guinea pig got to try a number of things).  When I’m evaluating math programs, I’m looking for something that can be used as a self-teaching text and will result in a student who has a strong grasp of the skills being covered (assuming the effort is put in by the student). I don’t want my older kids waiting around for me to be available to explain something to them, particularly since as they get higher up in math I need more time to figure things out myself before explaining it to them.  There are lots of great programs out there and everything we used was good; it’s just a question of finding what works for your family.

We started with New Elementary Math, Singapore’s program for post elementary students and that didn’t go well.  Then we went on to Teaching Textbooks, which initially I was happy with.  Then I got the sense that it wasn’t a very rigorous program – my impression was that it’s good for students who are weak mathematically.   We moved on to The Life of Fred.  Interesting but it didn’t seem thorough enough.  (Since it’s been a while, I don’t remember the specific details regarding each program, but I did a lot of research on each at the time.)

Then we moved on to Video Text, which I was very , very happy with.  The main downside of this program is that it’s very expensive; I bought it used so I paid about half price, $300 at the time.  The algebra program includes three years of math – prealgebra, algebra 1 and algebra 2 so it wasn’t nearly as expensive as it seems.   What I like about programs like this is that your child can watch a lesson with a very good math teacher explaining all of the points very clearly, and can rewatch it to repeat points that weren’t clear.  What I don’t like is that if the disc becomes damaged (which in my house is inevitable), you have to buy a new one.  I brought this along with us to Israel, bringing the unit ds12 was up to and packing away the rest to be sent with my mother’s lift that arrived ten months later.  The only problem was I brought the unit he had just finished, not the one he was about to start – not so helpful!

Since I brought along a few Saxon tests, ds was able to use Saxon Algebra 1/2 (though for the first year he had so much going on that there was no extra head space for doing math after school hours).  This also works as a self-teaching text, as ado re all of the Saxon texts from 54 and on.  Then I got a free four month trial of a program called yourteacher.com; it was the duration of this past summer and I optimistically set up accounts for a few of the kids, but only ds13 used it.  I heard him recently speaking to a friend on the phone who needs some math help, telling him that this program was really good.  So when I saw that a free four month trial is being offered again, I signed up once more.  I also signed up for a free year’s trial of  hotmath.com, to check out what it’s like.  (I took advantage of both of these free offers through http://www.homeschoolbuyersco-op.org; it’s free to sign up and then there are lots of discounts on curriculum purchased through the co-op.)

Another free resource that you don’t have to sign up for is Khan Academy, that has online videos of many topics broken down into short lessons.  Many lessons are being translated into different languages, one of which is Hebrew.  My kids didn’t use this much because they had math programs they were happy with, but it’s a great resource that I’ll probably use with someone at some time.

If you have math resources that you love, feel free to share about them with us!

Avivah

Shavuos in Israel is just one day, though I had to remind myself of this since after so many years I’m used to having two days of Shavuos.

Dairy is traditionally served on Shavuos, but I’m not really set up to easily serve dairy (no dairy oven, tablecloth, serving dishes).  What we’re doing instead is to have fish meals and then having cheesecake for dessert.

Night meal:

• challah, homemade
• dips: hummous, techina, matbucha
• creamy vegetable soup
• baked pollock with tomato olive topping
• roast potatoes
• chickpea quinoa pilaf
• cucumber salad
• tomato olive salad
• fresh salad
• cheesecake

Day meal:

• challah, homemade
• gazpacho (I might end up leaving this out since we have so many salads)
• baked baby cod in coconut milk
• salmon loaf
• potato knishes
• pancakes
• tabouli (cracked wheat salad)
• cucumber salad
• tomato olive salad
• savory beet salad
• corn salad
• vegetable platter
• cheesecake
• chocolate chip cookies

We made a huge amount of cheesecake at my kids request – this is the only time of year I make cheesecake – we made four very large pans.  (Obviously it won’t all be eaten in one day!)  I’m hoping to make another batch today to give to friends, but we’ll see what time allows for.   Since I don’t have a dairy oven I was looking and looking for no-bake recipes but the US recipes don’t work because I don’t have the right ingredients, and I wanted to make something a little different than the typical Israeli no-bake cheesecake (with layered biscuits).  I did some adapting to make the filling that we made – we all tasted it and agreed it was yummy – but I don’t yet know how the final product will be.

We made a few versions, all with the same cheese filling – one version was crushed coconut cookies and butter as a crust, another was biscuits laid flat in the pan as a crust, another used several layers of biscuits alternated with filling, then folded into a triangle shape.  All of them are frozen and will be put in the fridge to thaw  an hour or two before dessert.

Avivah

Last week someone offered me some free fish, which I readily accepted.  He said something about some heads, so I thought he meant the fish had heads or some heads were included.

Well, I got home and to my dismay (initially), the entire bag was salmon heads.  My first thought was that I had no time or inclination to deal with them, and to give them to the stray cats.  Then my frugal-try-something-new-and-see-how-it-goes instinct kicked in.  I did a quick internet search for what to do with fish heads, and was interested to learn that in some cultures the head of the fish is the favored part due to being the most nutritious.

I didn’t like the looks of any recipes that I found – too labor intensive. But I decided it would be a shame to feed the outdoor cats before seeing if any of the fish would benefit my family!  The fish heads were all from salmon, and were large.  We put about eight into a pot with some water, brought them to a boil, then let them simmer for a long time.

My plan was to debone them and use the salmon meat for some kind of fish dish.  My first thought on opening the pot was that the cooking liquid looked just like the liquid in canned salmon.  And my second thought when I began deboning the fish, was that minus the tip of the head, it looked exactly like the canned salmon I used to buy!  The same skin, bones, and the way the chunks of fish were – same physiology.  It makes economic sense that the filets are sold at a higher price, then the leftover heads are canned and sold for less.  Realizing this definitely shifted my perspective on using the salmon heads from viewing it as a less desirable leftover to a lucky find!

However, the taste is what the biggest ‘wow’ was.  It was tender, flavorful and delicious!  I made two 9×13 pans of salmon loaf using the meat from these heads and when we had them for lunch, my kids were like, “Yum, this is sooooo good!”  The flavor was much richer than canned salmon, really tasty.  And to think that at first I almost gave it to the stray cats!

Avivah

It’s the season of intense preparation and deliberations for those making aliyah (since most people move to Israel in the summer), and a common question is what to bring and what to buy here.

When we moved here, I shared about our decision not to make a lift  and also shared about what furniture we bought when we moved here and the prices we paid.  Reading these will give you my perspective on the advantages of not making a lift, and also give you an idea of what used prices for furniture can be.

It’s not easy to get rid of almost everything you own and move here with just the suitcases you can take with you, but it’s so liberating!  It forces you to think about what is important to you and what isn’t.  Once we bought furniture, we enjoyed having a home that was  more streamlined and easy to clean.  Our kids have commented a number of times about how much more quickly we can get things in order – they almost shudder thinking about what a disaster the basement used to quickly turn into with all of the toys, games and supplies we had down there.  It’s just so easy to accumulate things and moving is a wonderful chance to free yourself from things that weigh you down with their unnecessary presence.

I’m not going to try to convince you not to make a lift; sometimes it’s not only the most emotionally comfortable but also the smartest thing you can do!  If you’re bringing furniture, try to get the room dimensions of the home you’re moving to to be assured your furniture will not just fit but use the space well.  (Remember to also measure the doorways to be sure what you’re bringing can get through – one friend had to hire a crane to lift her US washing machine onto her open roof since it couldn’t fit through the door to her home).

Whether you make a lift or not, think about what you really want to have and leave it behind if it won’t serve you.  I’ve spoken to a number of olim who brought things they didn’t really want or need in the US, who put it into the lift rather than decide what to do with it.  Paying the money to have it shipped here and then having it take up precious space in the smaller constraints of an Israeli home made the unnecessary items even more of a burden.

I was lucky in that I didn’t know how much storage space I had when we came – there was more than I expected, but thinking I had very minimal space helped me to be ruthless in our paring down.  As it is, our storage space has filled up pretty quickly even with my initial and ongoing effort to declutter (mostly clothing and Pesach storage).

My mother made a small lift when she moved and I’m grateful that this allowed us to send some boxes of books; we had eight full bookcases and downsized to just one and a half.  Having these books wasn’t critical, but it was nice to have them again once they finally arrived.  (Unfortunately we discovered recently that some of the boxes that were put on the lift weren’t delivered and I doubt we’ll ever see these again.)

What each person finds of value is really personal and there’s no one list that everyone will benefit from.  What I found most valuable is a reflection of my priorities and lifestyle.  Having lived here twenty months now, I’ll share with you what I’m glad that we bought and what I would have brought if I could have:

Games -Toys and games are very expensive here.  When I’ve checked prices at the toy stores, it seems typical to pay about double what the item would cost retail in the US.  Most of our games were bought used, for less than $4 each.  One and a half of our boxes were used just for games; I knew we would be coming to a home with no furnishings and we wouldn’t know where to go and what to do for fun at first, and I wanted the kids to have something to do.  I was glad to have done this.  My kids used to rollerblade together almost daily so we brought their rollerblades, but this ended up being a waste of space since there aren’t many flat areas around and the brick sidewalks wear down the wheels very quickly.

Likewise, we brought three bikes – each was one piece of luggage.  I had visions of my kids exploring our new city together on bikes when we got here and bringing the bikes was my attempt to make the initial time here pleasant for them.  Though it was cheaper to bring bikes than buy here, this was a mistake.  First of all, packing them took extra time and effort; we had to look for bike boxes and with time as tight as it was close to our departure, this was a burden.  Due to the local hills and having to store the bikes down a flight of stairs versus in our garage where they were easily taken out, they rarely use their bikes.  After we got here I was informed that one of the bikes we brought wasn’t in good condition even though it looked really nice; if I had been aware of that I obviously wouldn’t have brought it.  Even for those that were in good condition, had I left them behind I could have packed three more boxes filled with items that would have been of more value that would have saved me significantly more than what I gained by bringing the bikes.  I’m not sorry they’re here because they’re nice to have but for a long time I really regretted bringing them, as I thought of all I left behind in order to bring them.

Again, be careful to only bring what you’ll use.  We used to have loads of games that mostly sat on the shelves ignored; we sifted through and brought those that would be enjoyed the most.  Almost all of the games we brought get regular use.  There were a couple of games we had that I would have liked to have brought but were missing pieces and I didn’t find them in the thrift store before we came – I was fortunate to find both (Stratego and Monopoly in the Hebrew versions) at a local second hand place for about ten shekels each.

We hardly brought any toys because our youngest was 2.5 at the time, but now we have a list of toys for Yirmiyahu’s development that his therapists told us will be important.  I’m hoping my husband can find some of these used in the US while he’s there (though he told me last week that shopping isn’t really his thing and it’s hard for him to make time for it).  Whatever you bring, make sure it’s good quality.  It’s not worth bringing knock off brands or low quality items – once you’re bringing it, bring solid quality that will last a long time.  Remember again about the space limitations you’re likely to face once you get here – you’re going to have to have a place to put everything.  Better to have fewer things that you’ll use a lot than a lot of things that you won’t use much.

Appliances – we got rid of all of our appliances except our dehydrator and grain grinder.  Both of these have gotten very little use here, for different reasons.  I’m not sorry I brought them because they’ll be invaluable when I need them, but they currently take up space and don’t provide much value.  If I could have, I would have have brought additional kitchen appliances, either those that ran on 110 voltage and used a transformer, or bought appliances (in the US) that would work on 220v.  Either way it would be a lot cheaper than buying here.  I have a manual vegetable slicer that was my salvation until it broke a couple of months ago but didn’t replace a food processor, which is the main appliance I miss having (but I’m not buying one for 1000 shekels and I don’t want a cheap one that will break soon after buying it).

Included in appliances are transformers.  We thought about bringing one with us but the weight would have taken almost half of one suitcase, and we didn’t order it in time to allow for the certainty of delivery before our departure.  In a lift weight won’t be an issue.  You can buy super high quality transformers in Jerusalem that will last for a lifetime, made by a man with over fifty years of experience.  I would have bought from him but I found a used one for 275 shekels that I got instead.

Tools – we brought a couple of basic hand tools and none of our power tools.  I really wish we had brought our hammer drill; not having this has been a huge inconvenience and delayed basic home maintenance issues for way too long.  I finally paid a handyman to put up light fixtures (apartments here come with bare bulb fixtures) and curtain rods a month ago – if we had our drill, this wouldn’t have taken over a year and a half to be done. Again, very expensive to buy here.  I have a big home improvement project that I’m seriously contemplating and having a drill will be invaluable.

Health care items – I brought my set of Bach flower remedies, my herbal collection and whatever vitamins and homeopathics we had on hand and whether something has gotten much use or not since coming, I’m happy to have brought it all.  One thing I specifically stocked up on was vitamin C powder in sodium ascorbate form – when you move here, your body will be faced with lots of new germs that it doesn’t have resistance to.  We used a lot of vitamin C in our first year, and it continues to be very valuable for us as it’s the first thing I use when someone isn’t feeling well.  Over the counter pain medications like aspirin or tylenol are really expensive here, so it’s worth it to throw in a couple of bottles even if you don’t use them much.  Homeopathics are unbelievably expensive here, so if there’s something you use a lot of (for us arnica is a big one), throw a few in.

To buy the vitamins we need locally, I use iherb.com; it has great prices with quick and inexpensive shipping.  (You can use this link or use code  OBO992 for a $10 discount on a purchase of $40 and up, or $5 off of a smaller order if you’re a first time customer.)  Vitamins are a fortune here; I shake my head in disbelief whenever I’m in the health food store and see the prices.  I also brought from iherb to recently place a large order of vitamins for dh and dd18 in the US (free shipping and no weight limits in that case – so much easier!).  They also have other items like coconut oil that I’ve been able to buy from them.

If you use prescription medicine, get a supply that will last you at least a few months until you figure out what to buy here.  Also, bring your medical paperwork in your suitcase with you if you have health issues; this will significantly ease your through a new medical system and with a new doctor.  My mom said this made a huge positive difference in how she was treated by her doctors here.

Shoes – I have no idea how if shoes are all made in China, the ones in Israel can cost so much more.  The quality of the inexpensive shoes (100 shekels and down) is what I would call disposable.  Good shoes are very expensive.  We brought enough shoes to last everyone for the first year.  If I were making a lift, I would buy even further ahead (I have mostly boys and the basic styles don’t change much).  If you’re going to be in a charedi community, I’d recommend sticking to basic black sneakers and dress shoes; no colors or stripes on the sneakers.

Clothing –  we brought enough basic clothing for everyone for the first year so we wouldn’t need to go shopping.  This was very scaled down.  To give you a sense of what that means, I allotted one suitcase per child (this included a coat for each one).  What I felt was most important were good quality pants and nice polo shirts, inexpensively purchased at thrift stores in the US.  We’ve easily supplemented with second hand purchases since then.

We brought winter coats with us with the understanding that northern Israel would be very cold in the winter.  It’s not that cold, though.  I would have been better off bringing lined water resistant jackets or coats with additional layers underneath if necessary.  Generally it’s colder inside Israeli homes than in the US, and people wear more layers indoors so this isn’t a big deal.  Initially I regretted not bringing our flannel lined raincoats since the kids walk to school and it rained very often these past two winters, and a raincoat is more practical than an umbrella.  But since they don’t have these kind of raincoats here, they kids would have stood out and felt uncomfortable.  The two raincoats we have don’t get used at all since the kids they fit say they’ll look strange if they wear them.  I also brought boots for the younger kids, and though this was nice to have, it wasn’t worth the space they took and I wouldn’t bring them again.

Homeschooling supplies - even though we weren’t homeschooling at first, I was still glad to have these!  We pared down significantly but brought what I considered to be the most useful manipulatives (pattern blocks, cuisenaire rods, base ten blocks, tangrams, a geoboard, a hundred number chart and some other assorted items).  I also brought Singapore math, Videotext Algebra (which I should have sold before I left even though it’s a fantastic program), some Saxon math texts, some writing texts, some Critical Thinking Press workbooks, McGuffey readers – the basics.  Since there isn’t an official homeschooling market here, I’m really glad to have these.  Even before homeschooling, two of our kids in school already found some of our texts helpful – ds14 to learn algebra on his own, dd12 to figure out what they were learning in class (she didn’t understand it until she looked in the Singapore book, then told me she never realized how good they are until she had school texts to compare to).  I’d like to buy math texts for the upper grades since this is what I’m most lacking.

Storage containers – I’ve written about how we chose to pack in Rubbermaid storage containers, packed in moving boxes.  I’ve been very, very happy with this; the two pieces of luggage I brought back on my recent trip to the US were packed in this same way.  This has made it possible to keep clothes in storage neatly packed.  However, they don’t fit into standard Israeli closets (which are freestanding units, not an open space like the US) so if this will be as helpful for someone else as it was for me depends on his storage capacity.

I also brought along some square 4 gallon containers that I used for storing bulk food neatly and compactly.  I packed inside and around these within a larger box when bringing them, and they’ve been very useful for us.

Food – if I had made a lift and knew I had the space, I definitely would have brought some bulk foods that are either very expensive here or not available.  These would have included several 40 lb buckets of coconut oil, 50 lb bags of organic sucanat, nut flours  and other foods that I could cheaply buy that would store for a long period of time.  This wouldn’t have justified making the lift, but they would have been valuable fillers. Not having certain foods here has been something that I’ve found difficult, particularly not having good oil – I used to use coconut oil for everything.   In general, though, I recommend getting used to the foods sold here and using them.

Americans have a tendency to have homes that are much more cluttered than Israelis.  This probably is because we’ve been used to having the luxury of cheap shopping combined with larger homes but I think this is something to avoid if possible since it’s not pleasant to live in a home that is overly full.  So think twice and then again when deciding what to bring, so that what you have in your new home will really serve you!

What items did you bring that you are glad you brought, and what did you bring that wasn’t helpful?  Please share so others won’t make the same mistakes!

Avivah

Yesterday I received the following comment, which I was very disturbed by.  

>>We have never met, but I do want to say that I was disappointed to hear from a number of potential homeschooling olim that were looking into Go North that you had told them NOT to homeschool when they make aliyah. I was told this by a few people, and am baffled as to why you did this.<<

Here was my response:

I would love to know what potential homeschooling families I told not to homeschool! I’m baffled myself to hear this! The only thing I would have done is share my personal reasons for doing what I did, but I’m as positive about homeschooling as always and have never discouraged anyone.  Actually, hardly any homeschoolers making aliyah have contacted me.  Is it possible they read my blog about my personal decisions for my family, and made an assumption based on that?  I speak to very, very few people about aliyah; I just don’t have the phone time.  Please share with me names because I try to be very clear when I communicate. Despite having done what I did (ie sent my kids to school when we moved here), it’s not what I would recommend for most people; I think homeschooling when a family first makes aliyah can make everything much easier for everyone. I’m as passionate about homeschooling as ever, and I’ve told a number of people who asked about our decision to send out kids to school that having kids in school makes it so clear how many advantages homeschooling offers! So you can see why I’m wondering how so many people can say that I told them not to homeschool.  Really, please let me know because I’d like to clear up the source of the misunderstanding – I don’t want my name associated with something that is opposition to my actual position.

Today I received a response:

>>As far as who told me that you discouraged them from homeschooling here, it was all a while back and I did not keep track of names. But it just seemed that at one point anyone NBN told to speak to me about homeschooling here had already heard from you that it was a bad idea. At least 3 people told me that, but I don’t remember their names or any real info about them. Unfortunately, they may have misunderstood you, but you seem to carry a lot of weight with Jewish homeschoolers, as you were one of the first, it seems.<<

I haven’t been in direct contact with even three homeschooling families about aliyah, but I’m taking this opportunity here to clear up my position publicly so there won’t be any further confusion. As I said in my response above, I have a strong feeling that people are confusing my personal choice and my sharing of my reasons for sending my kids to school with recommendations for others. This also ties into another question I wanted to answer, about if I regret having sent the kids to school when we got here.

I chose not to homeschool when we first got here because I felt very pressured.  We got here a week before the school year started and my kids were restless and unsettled, because that’s how you feel when you move to a new country!  They needed the feeling that I was on top of things and was getting a framework in place for them (or so I told myself), but I couldn’t wave my hands and create that framework in a week or two.  My concern wasn’t about my younger kids but mostly about my middle kids, then 12, 10 and 9.

Now, I had spent months thinking about this decision and had planned to homeschool everyone for at least the first year and then decide if sending them to school would be the right thing for them.  I wanted them to have a chance to adjust first to living here, get to know people and learn the language before being suddenly thrown into the Israeli school system.  Then we got here and the facts on the ground looked a lot different than what I was expecting.  I made a very quick – too quick – decision to override my many hours of reflection and put the kids in school to assuage my feelings of pressure.  A relevant factor in this decision was that I had just spent five intense months getting ready to make aliya, and had extended myself so much for so long that I felt worn out.  Of course there was only support for the decision to send to school.   I wrote about these decisions at the time.  I had so much to do when we moved here, and the pressure (that I was putting on myself) about getting the kids feeling good about homeschooling – ie so they wouldn’t feel like it was just our family all alone in our city – was pretty intense.

A long time homeschooler said to me several months ago that she didn’t understood why I felt so much urgency to make the decision about schooling right away.  Her point was valid; I could have taken my time to get used to being here and figured things out along the way.  But I didn’t and my reality was that I did feel a lot of urgency.  One of the strengths of my personality is that I do things quickly; one of the faults of my personality is that I do things quickly!  In this case it was a fault – I jumped too quickly to make a decision without giving myself the time to think things through that I usually invest on issues like this.

Am I sorry that I didn’t homeschool from the beginning?  Knowing how I was feeling then, no.  And I had a lot of good reasons; it wasn’t all fear and moving too fast.  It’s not easy to come into a new community, especially one as conservative as the one I’m part of, and to be visibly different.  Israelis in general seem to have a higher value for conformity than Americans.  When you’re choosing a different path than those around you, you need to feel confident about what you’re doing because you’re going to be questioned very intensely on a regular basis.  I was feeling a lot of self-doubt and pressure.  Time would have changed this picture, but I didn’t give myself time.

What I gained by putting the kids in school was time, time to think and make a decision about homeschooling from a position of strength.  Time to address my fears and think about how to fill in the gaps that concerned me.  Time for people to get to know our family and realize that we’re normal before doing something so different that they would have automatically written us off before knowing who we are.  Time to get our home furnished, to figure out where to do my shopping, for my husband to find work and have a wife who had more emotional energy to support him during the process.  Time for me to see my kids having difficulties in school that I would have blamed myself and homeschooling for if they were at home.   Time to get perspective and re-center myself, to clarify for myself what my values are and what actions would best support that.

So this experience was valuable for me, though I wouldn’t recommend it for other committed homeschoolers.  That’s the sketchy background of my decision.  Here’s where I’ll give a pointer from my hard earned experience: be very cautious about spontaneously overriding a decision that you’ve made with much thought and deliberation.

If you want to homeschool, there’s no reason to stop just because you’re moving to Israel.  There are some issues that you’ll want to address – the primary concern to me was acquisition of language and integration into the greater culture.  I think these bear thinking about for anyone moving here whose children won’t be in school, but I also think these points bear thinking about if your children are in school – these are both things I’ll share my thoughts on at a different time.

I’ve written loads about the many benefits in homeschooling, for the individual children and for the family.  I didn’t stop believing in this when I sent my kids to school.  There may be even more benefits in homeschooling your children through major life changes than when life is routine and stable.  Every change in family situation requires reassessment and finding ways to address the changes, but changes don’t automatically mean that homeschooling won’t continue to be successful.  It just means you need to be flexible and open to addressing new issues that may arise.

Avivah

I’ve gotten a couple of emails this week asking about how dd18 is doing, asking if they should continue saying tehillim for her.

I’m very grateful to share that dd18 ‘s condition has moved away from being life threatening and she is doing much, much better.  Her full recovery will take time and it is currently anticipated that she will remain in the US for an extended period, but we are optimistic that she will continue to improve with time, and believe that a complete recovery is not only possible but probable.

For all of you who have been saying tehillim for her, thank you so much!  There’s no question in my mind that your prayers and concern for her have had an impact in her recovery process, and I am so grateful to you all.  The tehillim circle that was begun is officially now over.  However, knowing the power of prayer we would be grateful if you would continue to keep her in your thoughts – Tehila bas Avivah Michaelah.

At this time in which I’m sharing my gratitude with you for our daughter’s progress, I’d like to request your prayers for two others who are going through difficult health situations right now: Yonatan Simcha ben Leah Rivka, an eleven year old boy in my community just diagnosed with lymphoma, and Chaim Dovid Reuven ben Chana Rochel, a father of several children who has stage 4 lung cancer.

May all those in need of healing have a full recovery in every way!

Avivah

I told you about how Yirmiyahu now has a special formula that is dairy and soy free.  What I didn’t tell you about is what a pain in the neck it is to buy this, but I’ll tell you now since it’s directly related to what happened on Shabbos.

In order to initially buy this formula, we needed a doctor’s note saying Yirmiyahu couldn’t eat anything else.  But our regular doctor couldn’t give it to us; she said we needed testing by a pediatric allergist.  When I called, I was given an appointment two months later.  In the meantime, he continued having the formula that was clearly causing him to be sick – I explained the situation to the allergist’s secretary and told her it was urgent that he get an appointment right away but she told me there’s no such thing as urgent in their office, everyone waits for the appointment they are given.  In the end, I missed this appointment since it was the day I was flying home from the US, but since he was immediately hospitalized after arriving, the hospital ended up being able to provide us with the necessary paperwork.

So that was the first obstacle overcome.  We  bought his formula and was doing relatively well on it.  However, you need to get a new prescription to buy it every three weeks.  That means you need to stay on top of how much you have and plan ahead. (You would think with all of this tight control that they’re giving it away, but in fact we pay over 800 shekels a month – over $200 – with no reimbursement from the health insurance company.  It’s really frustrating that they act like this is gold and make it so difficult to purchase but there’s no other way to get it here.)  Planning ahead is something I tend to do pretty naturally, but this time despite my efforts it didn’t happen.  I called for an appointment with the pediatrician on Weds. when I still had a full container of formula, but that day they told me they were closing at noon and it was too late for me to come in. The next day Yirmiyahu went to Jerusalem for therapies and we got home after they closed.  Friday she wasn’t there.  So the first appointment I could get was Sunday.

Looking at how much we had left, I realized we might run out before his appointment.  But I had a container of soy formula that our chiropractor muscle tested on him while we were in the US – we went to Target and tested every single formula, and bought the one that tested best. So although I didn’t think this would be as good as what he usually gets, I thought it would be very tolerable.  I hadn’t used it since he had gotten the specialty formula but figured it was a good backup.

I was so, so wrong.  An hour after having six ounces on Shabbos morning, Yirmiyahu began massively throwing up.  Then he had these horrible diapers that are unlike anything I’ve ever seen.  As the day went on – and it wasn’t that many hours – he was looking weak and apathetic.  And I really didn’t know what to do since the answer was to give him his special formula but there’s nowhere to buy this formula except from the health clinic’s pharmacy and only then with a prescription that I didn’t yet have.  That wouldn’t be open until the next day.  It’s not the kind of thing people have around in their kitchen that you can borrow.  He wouldn’t drink the soup I gave him in a bottle, wouldn’t eat any food, and took hours to drink four ounces of juice.

I was getting very, very worried because how he looked reminded me of what happened in the beginning when he got sick in the US, except then it was triggered by a virus and this was an allergic reaction.  Although all the health clinics are closed, we found out that there is an after hours clinic just a five minute walk from my house and I immediately took Yirmiyahu there. This was very strange for me since I had to pay them and give them his insurance card on Shabbos – but we asked how to handle this before I left and I acted according to the rabbinic guidelines I was given.

The doctor there told me to immediately take him to the hospital ER; by this time it was the late afternoon. I wanted to go home before leaving to the hospital to let the kids know what was happening so they wouldn’t be anxious.  When I got back the house was silent – ds14 was with my mother at the hospital in Haifa for all of Shabbos, dd16 was studying with a friend in a different neighborhood for her yahadut matriculation exam, and all of the other kids had left to the park.  I called the ambulance and asked a neighbor to give the kids a message about what happened, but dd12 came running from the park when she saw the ambulance drive by with flashing lights since she realized it must be for Yirmiyahu so I was able to tell her where we were going and not to worry.

We were admitted to the hospital and after a couple of hours, Yirmiyahu was finally given what he needed – this specialty formula.  He still was weak but we were told he had stabilized and could be released the next day.

The next day – this morning – I spent over two hours trying to contact the pharmacy to be sure that they had this formula in stock.  We had ordered it several weeks ago so it should have been there, but I didn’t want Yirmiyahu released until I was positive I would be able to get formula for him. When I finally got the pharmacist on the phone, she told me the order was never placed and there was nothing in stock.  I was so frustrated – why is it so hard to get my baby the formula he needs?!?  I asked her if she could check the closest location that had it, and though at first she told me she was too busy and to call back, I told her that I had been calling for two hours and already called back once since someone else said she was too busy to check if the formula was in stock – and I needed that information right then to determine if he needed to stay in the hospital another day where he would have something to eat.  She checked the computer system and said there might be three cans in a different pharmacy in Karmiel.

I requested the doctor write up the prescription and leave it at the front desk so that I could pick it up later in the day when we got home from the hospital.  When I got there, I was told that it had been entered into the computer.  Using the computerized prescription I was able to buy the three cans in Karmiel and order enough for the rest of the month.

This computerized prescription option is very, very new – and will be extremely helpful and important to us in avoiding a scenario like the one above in the future.  From now on, we’ll be able to request the new prescription by phone every three weeks and since it can be directly entered into the computer, there’s no longer a need for me to pick it up.  It’s still annoying to me to have to get a new prescription so often, but if this had been an option a few days ago (or if I had known it was an option – I’m not sure what day this new policy began- several weeks ago they told us they wouldn’t accept it faxed in, only the original), we wouldn’t have gotten into the situation we did – they could have inputted the prescription the day I called and within an hour I would have bought the formula  and had it in the house, before we came close to running out.

Thankfully, Yirmiyahu is doing much better though he’s still under the weather.  I had been wondering before this if this formula was really worth the money, since he’s still reacting to the corn syrup in it, and it’s aggravating to spend so much on something that still isn’t allergen free for him.  But this has made it really clear that even if it’s not ideal, it’s still really important that he get this.

Avivah