Posted by: Avivah | July 16, 2008

Are you a good candidate for homeschooling?

This is a matter of opinion, and I can only give you mine.

1) You need to enjoy being around your child. This is crucial.  The nice surprise about spending more time with your children is that you will enjoy each other more, so it gets easier and easier to spend time together.

2) Your reason for homeschooling should be because you think your children will benefit.

3) A parent should be home with the children.  This may sound obvious, but I’ve gotten calls from parents working full time who want to leave the child with a paid tutor.  That’s not homeschooling.

4) It’s preferable when both spouses agree, even if one is reluctant, so that it doesn’t become an issue that affects marital happiness.  

5) You should basically be able to cope with daily life before adding the additional demands of having kids home all day.   If you have serious depression, get anxious and hyper stressed by having your kids around, or something similar, leave them in school.  You’ll all be happier.

I also don’t support people whose children have been kicked out of school, who have no desire to interact with their child, are looking for someone else to do it all for them – parents need to understand that homeschooling is about the parent-child relationship, not a way to dump their kids onto someone else. I’ve gotten too many calls like this, and used to spend time helping the parents explore what homeschooling meant, but then it became obvious that they weren’t interested in what was best for their child, just what was an easy solution to their problem. 

I don’t think that you have to be very organized, though it is helpful.  I’ve had two minds about this.  Someone once who was clearly very disorganized asked me about homeschooling, and my first reaction was to discourage her.  But later I heard her interacting with her kids, and she was so incredibly loving that I realized she had the number one criteria in abundance.  Basic organizational skills can be learned, and a chaotic house can reduce the joy of homeschooling for everyone.   So while it’s not crucial to be organized, it is helpful.

You don’t have to be very patient, knowledgeable about whatever you’re teaching, have a teaching background, a spotless house, lots of money.   You can learn to be more patient, and learn new information alongside your children.  A messy house is a sign that things are happening there!  And there are plenty of ways to homeschool on a very small budget. 

It’s helpful to develop a strong backbone and believe in what you’re doing, but this is something that may develop with time and needs to be regularly reviewed and renewed.

Avivah 


Responses

  1. I am not sure you will read this, but I keep going through the archives to find more and more wonderful posts. I keep asking myself if i am a good candidate. I am still not sure. I am somewhat hyper, anxious and I don’t have a lot of patience. I do love being with my kids, though. I am trying very hard to get organized. I have started doing “lesson” with my just turned three-year old son. Sometimes we pick up a newspaper and i have him identify letters with me. We got some preschool workbooks from kumon and he asks everyday to do these lessons. these were his idea. He said he wants Mommy to be his teacher and he wants to go to school at home with Mommy. My gut tells me that homeschooling is right, but my mind is wary. my son loves being with lots of kids. I don’t want him to be left out. i am confused, but i feel as though i have time on my side since he is my oldest.

  2. I read everything that comes through, Dina!

    So you mean you’re not yet perfect, right? 🙂 Join the club. Nothing you described in an extreme that I would be wary of and consider not recommending homeschooling. Just the garden variety regular parental imperfection.

    It sounds like you’re doing great with your son. You’re right, you have plenty of time before you have to make big decisions regarding homeschooling. When the mind and the gut conflict, I always recommend going with the gut instinct – it’s very powerful and connects us to our deeper selves, and what is really right for us. About him feeling left out – I’ll try to address this in a post.


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